Kyun hai mili yeh dooriyan….

Na tum ho bewafaa
Na main bhi hun
Phir bhi hain hum judaa
Main kya kahoon
Na jaane waqt ki marzi hai kya
Kyun hai mili yeh dooriyan

Tere bin jo din aaya
Kaate na woh kat paaya
Kami teri khal si jaati hai
Tere bin jo shaam aayi
Badhi dil ki tanhai
Meri aankhen bhar si jaati hain

Kuch tum mujhse khafa
Kuch main bhi hun
Hai kya iski wajah
Main kya kahun
Na jaane waqt ki marzi hai kya
Kyun hai mili yeh dooriyan

Tujhe dil se tha chaaha
Tu hi toh na mil paaya
Khushi mujhko chhal si jaati hai
Mera tu tha sarmaaya
Tujhe paake na paaya
yahi baatein chubh si jaati hain

Tanhaa teri tarah haan main bhi hun
Donon hain gamzadaa main kya kahun
Na jaane waqt ki marzi hai kya
Kyun hai mili yeh dooriyan

Up

Fascinating top quality animation. The movie pricked the heart of the viewer from the very beginning where I can myself see some melancholy pensive faces among the audience in the first 5 mins from the start of the movie.

Another movie since ‘Grave of the Fireflies’ which had the heart to build on to catch the emotions of the viewer. Being a Naruto fan I can definitely say that animation movies are not only comedy movies and can better the existing reel drama movies. A movie I particularly liked coz I somehow think Carl was a little like me, less talkative, more thinking kind of. And his harmonious relationship with the talkative Ellie doesnot depend on expressing but acknowledging each other’s thoughts and feelings. I do believe my old age will probably be like Carl’s who sets out not to fulfil his but his loving wife’s dream. One of the most powerful shot which I liked in the movie was during character’s old age, when Carl saw Ellie cleaning the room with a broomstick and realized this is not the life Ellie dreamt of, not the future she thought of and regretting this painful truth. Carl didn’t had a dream of his own and chose to step up, stood by his words and fulfil his wife’s dream which he promised to do so by ‘crossing his heart‘. The seperation of his beloved house with all the memories of Ellie to the Paradise falls also strengthened the fact that Ellie was meant to be where her dream was if she is not with him. It also portrayed that though Ellie’s dream was not fulfilled in her life, she was way much happier with Carl than to mindlessly follow her dream. Carl was living to fulfil Ellie’s dream and she was to fulfil his. A long lasting impression it left on my mind.

Pixar animation do carry innovative thoughts, their presentation is also way different from others and with the perferct timing of the background score, this movie had it all. The music build the environment in the beginning of the movie which carried on to the end, subtle and contemplating the situation.

This movie is not only for kids to watch for fun. One lady sitting behind was explaining the movie to her 6-7 year old kid and she herself was finding it difficult to deliver the real meaning of the scene to the kiddo, at times in heavy sober voice. I saw people were gripped to their chairs even throughout the credits of the movie. I was also with them. No one was willing to leave till the very end of the movie and the faces of the cleaners arrived were like “Not again!!!” A must watch.

Back to Childhood

For all the readers, childhood here refers to what I saw today at a jewellery store and later that evening as a consequence of it. The experience was so overwhelming that I couldn’t resist myself writing this blog. Even so late at night, still mom and dad are sitting in front of me talking, discussing and fighting, yes fighting, like small restless kids, when i am jotting down the words on this screen. Giving you all a brief background, Today was my Mom’s birthday. I guess its really brief but self explanatory.

Anyways what happened today was that we went to Tanishq store to buy ME a ring as my comin b’day present (Which I too didn’t knew about). I was planning to buy mom a bracelet. Thanx to Vedang, a dear friend of mine, who showed to me the amusement park of girls and also for guys i.e main showroom of Tanishq at B’lore. Confused? Why GUYS? I call it the amusement park coz every girl is shocked when she enters the showroom and every guy, when he leaves. So we entered the showroom, headed towards the ring counter… ding dong dong… ting tong tong…. sing song song…. I asked “Where is the bangle counter?”… ding dong dong… ting tong tong…. sing song song…. We promptly reached to this next counter… ding dong dong… ting tong tong…. sing song song…. (these were the sounds actually i was hearing of the bustling ladies crowd around.) Since it was my first Jewellery gift to her, mom was super ultra rampaged uber hyperactive then and papa was just confused while I was continuously observing them. Think of a child left alone in a store, big and bright, full of candies, toys and ice creams. Mom was eggjacktly that kid, double enthused. These Tanishq showrooms are so well organized, was thinking of writing another blog on how they dont ever mention the amount on the product, just the weight and the calculation for cost estimation is so tough for an average gold loving girl that she has nothing else to compare but the grace of the gold. And miraculosuly I was the only person in that showroom who was able to guess the amount of the product and hence was the sore spot in the eyes of the saleswoman. Anyways coming back to our original shiny story. Since, I gave mom full independence of chosing the jewellery without worrying about the cost, it bombastically boosted her divine power of picking. The entire set of bangles looked the same to me but to her, aaah. See, the softer sex have this skill that they can, if required, awaken their inbuilt sense of discrimination which can even percieve a needle in hay. So finally after chosing the set (Time taken ~= Time period of break in a single break movie on Zee cinema), and finally when I paid, I just loved watching her carry the bag. Held with both the hands infront of her, clasping it tightly. again giving an eg of the similar kind of kid, who holds a new beloved comic or toy to him as close to him as possible. I was planning not to buy the ring they intended to, and it was a delicacy seeing her getting angry on me not buying it. Finally we didn’t bought the ring and while leaving the store, Mom: “I guess iss box mein isse (bangle) rakhna theek nahin, kahin gir gaya ya bhool gayi to. Better hai ki isko pehan leti hoon.” LOL

I wished if I had just a lil more money in my wallet, I could have bought the earrings she liked. Now planning ahead for the next day when again I’ll get the chance to rediscover the hidden child in mom and dad. Though for few moments only but it was full of charm and charisma.

Sabse peeche hum khade…

Zaara naazar uthake dekho
Baithe hai hum yahi
Bekhabar mujhse kyon ho?
Itne bure bhi hum nahin

Zamane ki baaton mein uljho na
Hai yeh aasaan janana
Khud se jo agar tum poocho
Hai hum tumhare ke nahi
Teri aankhon ka jaadu
Poori duniya pe hai
Duniya ki iss bheed main
Sabse peeche hum khade

Mehfile aayi aur gayi
Log aaye aur gaye
Tum jo aaj aaye ho
Dil mein ho bas gaye

Muskurake baat taalo na
Phir miloge jo kahin
Dekhana yahi kahoge
Itne bure the hum nahi

Teri aankhon ka jaadu
poori duniya pe hai
Duniya ki is bheed mein
sabse peeche hum khade

Was listening to this song and realized it do reflects my current situation.  Give it a shot and listen to this song, very simple, less instruments thus giving more emphasis on the lyrics. May be mine case is similar to that of the song hence I acknowledge it more than anyone else. This song was suggested to me by a friend of mine, Ravi, and I thank him for telling me abt it.

Mom’s Dilemma

Moms arnd the world have this amazing misconception that their daughters are an eye candy for every other guy on this earth who are perverts (except their sons) and sons, the prince charming, TDH, for every girl, even better than George Clooney. And I, and definitely the person reading this blog, at some time or the other would have been a victim of this dogma. This is the exact replica of a conversation between me and my mom on phone obviously after omitting some talks irrelevant to this blog.

Tring Tring {I could have written the song which is played on my cell but the “gaanment” does not approve the lyrics}

Me: Hello. Kaisi ho?
Ma: Hello. Achchi hoon. Teri yaad aa rahi thi. Kahan par hai iss samay?
Me: Friend ke ghar jaa raha hoon. blah blah blah.
Ma: Blah blah blah.
Me: More blah blah blah.
Ma: Even more blah blah blah.
Me: Bas karo. Blah blah blah. Pata hai, apan dance seekhne ka plan kar rahe hain. Isse exercise bhi ho jayegi.
Ma: Haan haan. Dance seekhne se body bhi fit rehti hai. Aur exercise  bhi ho jayegi. and fundae fundae fundae. { “Bhasically” learning dance is the most awesome thing in this world} **
Me: Arre mummy, dance seekh to loon but koi partner nahin mil rahi hai.
Ma: {Long pause, definitely those random Ekta Kapoor’s cameras on mom right now} matlab?
Me: Arre Ball Room seekhne ka plan kar raha hoon. Usme partner chahiye hoti hai.
Ma: {Another extra long pause (even duracell battries would have exhausted) and the silence started to creep on}
Me: Kya hua?
Ma: Partner matlab ladki? (and if the partner would have been a ladka, it would have been a more severe case)
Me: Arre haan yaar. Aur kya? Ab khoj raha hoon koi taiyyar ho jaaye chalne ke liye.
Ma: Ye ladki wadki ke saath dance mat karo. {Plain and direct} Ye sab bekaar ki baat hai. {First time}
Me: Swabha ke saath bhi to seekha tha salsa.
Ma: Wo dusri baat thi.
Me: Kya mummy. Arre ye ek art hai. Seekhna achcha hota hai. Main ye phaltu ke bollywood steps nahin seekhne waala.
Ma: Art wart jo bhi ho. Pata nahin kaun kaun si ladkiyaan hongi. Kiske saath dance karna ho. Ye sab bekaar ki baat hai. {Second time}
Me: Arre yaar dance he to seekh raha hoon. Waise bhi bas seekhne ke liye seekh raha hoon.
Ma: Mujhe bhi pata hai. But ye ladki ko hold karke dance wagairah nahin karna hai. Ye sab bekaar ki baat hai. {Third time}
Me: Arre yaar. To kya wahi bekaar ke bollywood steps seekhun. Mere ko nahin seekhni wo nautanki. Waise bhi kai dance group partners provide karte hain agar na ho to.
Ma: {Fourth time}
Me: To kya karun. {I sincerely hoped ma mami ka naam na lein bas}
Ma: Aur kuch seekhne ko nahin bacha kya? Jo dance seekh rahe ho? {See the contradiction!!!} **
Ma: Beta dekho aaj kal ki ladkiyaan bahut badmaash hoti hain. Tum log seedhe ho. Wo bas fasane ka kaam karti hain. Blah blah blah again. {and finally proved that the young descendents of venus are the most heinous thing existing} {Because of this single thought we, me and my bro, were kept forbidden from the fruits of co-education. I was so so lucky that I went to school with 2000 other boys and to college (Ob IITK) with 5000 other men and wo-men. Even my first and only girl till now was the huddle of the house and a monologue from mom till acceptance.}
Me: {Comprehending the fact that Mom’s and Chankya’s view points are so similar (On young bandi only)}
Me: Arre yaar main dekh lunga mujhe kya karna hai.
Ma: Dekh lunga kya. Sports khelo, football, tennis.  Kya dekh lunga. hain? {Now the conversation starts to get more demanding. I was looking for an escape from mom’s wraith when I realized that I have reached my friend’s home}
Me: Friend ka ghar aa gaya mummy.
Ma: Kiska ghar hai? {suspiciously }
Me: Arre Vedang ka ghar hai yaar. Chalta hoon, raat ko call karunga. Bye.
Ma: Bye. And kuch aur seekhna. Bye.

 I have such a conservative mom. Lively and gabby. Here I have omitted most of the conversation {which obviously were her words} but I do love to listen to what she has to say. My conversation with her is generally one sided, I love to listen and she loves to make me listen. Though I have never said and it is really really tough for me to say it to her on her face but I do like to mention here that I love my ma.

P.S.: Iss kahani ke sabhi patra kaalpanik ho sakte hain. Inka kisi jeevit vastu ya praani se koi len den hona sambhavik hai. Jaise Vedang hi mujhe abhi 200/- dega.

Hello – Is it me you are looking for?

Sometimes you want to believe in your dreams, what you see not in real life but in the illusions weaved by your mind even when your eyes are wide awake. With songs playing  ”Tell me how to win your heart for I haven’t got a clue”, but only catching the rhythm as the words were subtle. DREAM. Saw a girl in my dreams, and truely a dream girl, many times in the last month. A face as fresh as the morning dew of Kashmir, a smile to win thousand hearts and big bright sparkling eyes, eyes evaluating every notorious act, observing every tiny move, cunningly shying away and yet so simple, so reserved. For Naruto fans, it will be a divine knowledge to let them know that she is a true Sharingan user, as looking straight in her eyes you’ll be locked in the illusions for years to come. So I follow what Gai Sensei told, look at her feet and follow your instincts. A beauty a man can only dream for. And thats exactly what I am doing.

Understanding the very nature of this dream. Felt like I am dreaming just to be with her. She is a gift from heaven, the one to save me from hell. Her blazing aura, the fire in her soul pulled away the devil from me. I’d do anything, will give away everything and will quit any possible desire just to share a moment with her. A thousand hours of ecstacy, LSD, weeeds, smack and hash together were miniscule compared to the moment of being just next to her, sitting in silence  as she comes and sit awile with me on a green cliff, watching the sun go down, shuttering to slight chill from the air. With violin playing as we start to dance, and singing to the wind into the night. The best part was that there was no one to interrupt, to disturb. And the fascinating thing is that I have been seeing this dream only.

Helpless I feel at times coz its hard to manipulate people, and for me, its not my cup of tea. I abhor the visage of being someone else, to pretend and to play games. And this new feeling which I cherish during my dreams, like I am staring in the sun and making it feel timid confronting the limitless power I have gained only by her thoughts.

Astonished by this entire setup, I started feeling what I have never felt before. This unrest in my mind, this insecurity, this uncertainity, this instability.

Neither I want to, nor I even wish to break this dream. For the same reason, I willfully would like to dream on instead of waking up coz I feel reality has a dreadful ending planned for me.

I refuse to wake up coz then, there won’t be any dreams to be with her. I love to be a part of this dream.

 

P.S.: Observe th post closely, its an important as well as an easy clue.

Bangalore

Being in bangalore, my professional life has started, almost on the verge of completing my third week, pretty amazing. Never thought that 1 day, out, amidst the corporate lot, I will find myself, so alone and so… alone, or maybe lonely. Never thought that the ever surrounded guy, the PJ king of IITK, will be alone, sitting in an apartment, puffing the last bit of cigg and will  be among the reminiscents of the past.  I am not getting ideas as to what to jot down on this 10 inch screen. Even the bestest of frnd has failed to generate any idea for me. Beginning with the experiences of this awfully amazing place. The corporate world has been a new enchanting place to be for sure, but surely not a loved one. Time teaches so many things. Guy, a pillow lover, will be waking everyother person, “before time” . A couple of months ago, I was afraid of facing this prob, the eyepopping, awesome, “quality” day time dreams were the ones holding me back. But this sense of responsibility, this burden of obligation is the one, though wrongfully stated, I am liking the most. This world wont let me be a kid anymore. Growing up and growing on are some of the traits you learn as you live, and live to grow on further. Responsibilities. Huh, damn this word for taking away all my dreams, my life from me. Whatever I do, I cant and I wont face away from this word. The face off with the probs, the confrontation with this world has been and will be the amazing and most entertaining part of the upcoming new life. Till date, assuming everyone to be your friend was not an issue, but from now on, it wont be possible. God always had high hopes for human beings and thus didnt gave eyes on the back of their head, coz he felt that the most superior creation will always help their likes. Little He knew that this most superior creation will use His own leniency by stabbing his likes, on their back. People avoid confrontations, telling lies, routing the easier path, and what I have learned so far is that telling the truth is the most disgusting and tough path to tread on. But conscience is the one not letting me sway from it. I hate this feeling, the feeling of being on the side of truth, this feeling of being the worst contender in the race of lies and hatredness. Why my parents brought me up in the dreamland of the world being the most lovely and true place to live in? Long live the hatredness.

I MISS MY FRIENDS. A LOT!!!

What the fudge!

I wonder why people write stuffs like ‘Dear Diary’. What a time to ponder on this issue, 5 am in the morning. Man I am such an as.. er am uhhh doobie doobie da ‘idiot’. Trying myself this time.

Respected Blog, (It has to be something different than just ‘Dear’ Diary)

Slept at 2 am, woke up at 5 am. It is such a wonderful cold weather to sleep but this 3-[(2S)-1-methylpyrrolidin-2-yl]pyridine is showing its effect now. What a waste of time this is. No mails to check, no scraps to answer, not in a mood of writing my thesis right now. Wish I had ice and ‘aap’ with me. The other two ‘main and ..’ are present in my room. The other good stuff, I’ll be having my breakfast for the first time in 5th yr after waking up in the morning. And that too on Saturday. Couldn’t had been better. But have to wait till eight. (It rhymed :O) Off to watch Naruto. Catch you later, Blog.

Thanking you.

Regards,

Your Writer.

My first post – Memories.

Couldn’t think of anything, the usual stuff with me. I guess I started a bit late, could have saved and cherished some beautiful memories with it. Anyways life is full of changes, maybe in the future I’ll blog, may be not, not sure from my side but the feeling I am having right now, the feeling of something new, a step forward towards sharing my views, this perpetual feeling is the one I am liking the most.

Memories! The one I think of when I lie alone on the lawn, starry night, with moon lurking from the clouds, thinking of my past what I have gained, what I lost.The friends I gained, the loving cape of ma, the protective shoulder of papa that i miss. The daily problems I gained, the late night calls i lost. The respect I gained, the love I lost. The Life I gained, “The Life” I lost. Memories!

Memories! The one I recall while sitting on the chairs outside talking to Rahul, Kavi and KBC. The days gone by, never to return. The days with everyone, describing and recalling how each and everyone were used to be. The cute Gannu, getting irritated after loosing in comp games to me (Fifa, Quake, NFS) and Kavi (Tekken, Fifa, Quake, NFS), the all knowing, extremely lethargic Pape, Dood Bansi and KT, overly excited Shubg, the senti Makkar, unpredictable and out of context speaker Batty and Chandu (no words for him). 20 yrs from now, we wont be seeing each other that often, some will be there by our side, some wont. Why it is such that we have to move on everytime leaving behind the past, why this phase isn’t everlasting, why can’t we be the same carefree, idol, sentimental fools all our life? I guess its because life expects more out of us, to conquer our fears, to overcome our sorrows and to face and fight our problems, to work hard and protect our loved ones. Memories! *smile*

Memories! The beautified ones when I listen to songs which are related to my past, to some people, to some phases of life or at times just solitude.’Chalte Chalte’ during my stay at Kota, ‘Woh Lamhe, Woh Baatein’ 1st yr of college, ‘FRIENDS – The Remembrandts’ 3rd year, ‘Chanda re’ , ‘Chura liya hai tumne’ 4th year, and will be surely listening to ‘Naruto OST’ for my 5th year. The everlasting feeling, the saddened joy of being in the past. Memories!

I am sure you too must be having memories related to songs. Cherish them, coz they will be your companion in your solitude, in your loneliness.

I guess I’ll stop here. Saying it again, Memories!

Grief and Sorrow

P.S.: Was listening to Grief and Sorrow, Sadness and Sorrow OST Naruto, while jotting down the randomness in my mind. Music do overpower your mindset at times.